how i feel

so like, you know how the more you hang out with a particular person, the more you become like that person? or the more you surround yourself in a particular culture, the more influenced you are by that culture? well, likewise, the more time you spend running machines, the more you become a machine. that’s why usually the people who devote their life to a job, or to monotony, or to keeping things in order, the more boring they are. because they lose their personality. they’ve become their job.

i think that’s a really common reason why people become depressed, too. whether they even realize they’re depressed or not. they’ve lost touch with themselves because they were taught to devote their life to money and routine, rather than doing what makes them happy. it’s like spending your whole life learning english, and then being kidnapped and dropped off in the middle of the amazon rain forest where there are no other humans to communicate with. all your knowledge of the english language that you’ve accumulated over the years has gone to waste because you can no longer use it. so now you’re just gonna have to deal with being lonely and miserable. unless you like, make friends with a rock. and at that point, you’re so far gone from sanity that you don’t even care that your friend is a rock. if it gets bad enough, you won’t even be able to recognize the difference between a personified rock and an actual person, because all you’re paying attention to is the fact that you have a friend and are no longer lonely. and those are the people who have been so far separated from their personality, from their humanity, that they aren’t even able to tell what’s real and what’s just there to keep their illusion in tact. they’ll believe the craziest things, as long as it doesn’t separate them from their rock. as long as it doesn’t make them feel lonely inside. you know, the people who are all about money, hard work, jesus and MURICUH. pretty much everything they believe is crazy because they were forced to devote their life to hiding their personality so that they can get a good sized paycheck and buy things. they were stolen from their homeland and relocated to a place where humanity doesn’t exist. just numbers and dollar bills and advertisements and cell phones and cars and clothes. objects. and they’ve gotten so used to being alone that they’ve personified the inanimate objects since that’s all they can do in this place. they’re crazy. they’re as crazy as the guy from castaway who made a friend out of a volleyball. no, they’re crazier, because they’re choosing to be friends with the personified inanimate objects rather than the REAL people they’re surrounded by.

i’m sick of living in a world where everyone is crazy. and it pisses me off how crazy people don’t realize they’re crazy. because how do you fix that? how can you fix a problem that you don’t even believe is there? how can you make a crazy person not crazy anymore? i mean yeah it’s possible to do, but to really make a difference you’d have to do it to a shit load of people at once, and that’s pretty much impossible. so i’m just gonna have to go the rest of my life in this psychiatric ward, keeping my distance from all the crazy people i’m surrounded by. otherwise they might infect me. i hate everyone.


piano song i made with a picture i made

my philosophy on personality

most people consciously understand that it’s wrong to condemn a person based on traits they were born with and that they have no control over. the color of their skin, sexual preference, gender, etc. but it’s usually superficial traits that people think of when determining the validity of their condemnation of a person. no one thinks it’s wrong to condemn someone for the personality they were born¬†with. why is that?¬†

you might think a wealthy philanthropist is a better person than say, a homeless drug addict. but by what criteria are you making that judgement? that wealthy philanthropist is just the spoiled kid who got everything handed to him at birth; but instead of being born into money, he was born into the right genes. he may have shed sweat and tears to get into the position he’s in, but he never shed the personality he was born with. it was his choice to work hard, but it wasn’t his choice to WANT to work hard. that’s just who he is. the homeless chap could have easily worked just as hard, but it just so happens that he wasn’t born with that type of personality.

so what makes someone better than someone else? if you can’t answer that question without taking into consideration their race or gender, then by default you can’t consider their personality either. you can’t determine the worth of a person by something that they have no control over. and if people are just manifestations of their personality unfolding and adapting over time through subconscious and uncontrollable experience and observation, then you can’t determine a persons worth by their actions either; because actions are nothing more than the result of thoughts, and thoughts are born out of personality. in other words, actions are merely the personality interacting with the world. so why is it that people think it’s wrong to condemn a person for their skin color, but not for their personality (actions)?

do they believe that one can change their personality? i think most people believe by now that a person cannot change their sexual orientation. but what they fail to understand is WHY sexual orientation can’t be changed. it’s because it’s a part of your personality, your identity. you can’t change what your favorite color is, or who you find attractive, or how good or bad you are at math, or how easily you can understand quantum mechanics, or anything else about your personality. and if you CAN change any of those things, you can’t control how quick or easy the changing process will be. if you were born a slow learner and want to be awesome at math, it may take a few days, weeks, years, decades, even centuries to achieve your goal (and if it takes centuries, sucks for you cuz you won’t even live that long).

do they believe that one should hide their true identity from the world if it consists of traits that harm others? because if that’s the case, you might as well tell every person in existence that they’re not allowed to be themselves, because doing so would result in SOMEONE getting hurt, even if it’s just for a second. no matter what you do, there will always be someone out there who disagrees with you and wants to change you. so where do you draw the line between a personality trait that’s detrimental enough to keep hidden from the world and one that’s a bit of a nuisance but tolerable nonetheless?

also, you have to remember that you can’t hide your personality from the world if it’s not in your personality to do so. if, when determining what your next action will be, you place more value on your own desires than on that of others, then you’re going to do whatever you want, regardless of what other people want. it may be selfish, but we call selfishness a personality trait for a reason. it’s something that can’t be changed or hidden, unless of course the desire for acceptance or admiration outweighs the desire to satisfy one’s own needs at the cost of others. but then that begs the question, is it selfish to make another person happy, even if your only reason for doing so is for your own benefit?

gandhi may have been a better person than hitler… or he may have just been luckier. if gandhi was born in the exact same situation as hitler, he too would have become a mass murderer. he would have been born with the exact same brain, which responds in the exact same way to the exact same stimuli, which would have inevitably led to the exact same mass murders of the exact same people. so the next time you think that a person is better than someone else, remind yourself that they may actually just be luckier.


(Source: unexplained-events)


(Source: pankurios-templeovarts)